Lately I have been having an identity crisis.
I think it's very common for a stay-at-home mom to feel that way. I love being a wife and mother; I love staying home with my three beautiful daughters. But sometimes I wish I had something else, some other way to define myself.
I started this blog just as a fun way to share stories about my kids and the different crafts, recipes, and activities I do. It used to be pure fun. I used to not care about comments or followers or stats.
But for the past few months, I have been feeling completely inadequate--about my blog. I know how ridiculous that sounds.
I let myself think that my identity was all wrapped up in my blog. That if a post didn't get a lot comments, it wasn't worth doing. I started obsessing over how everyone else has better ideas than I do, or more followers than I do, or more sponsors than I do. I started obsessing over how I could bring in more money with my blog. Everything became a blog post for me--if I didn't think it would make a good blog post, I didn't do it.
I lost sight of why I started to blog--because it is a fun, creative outlet for my life.
I am not saying this to guilt anyone into commenting, but last week I was feeling badly that my DI lamp makeover post didn't get any comments--I really like that project but when no one commented, I started second-guessing it and thinking maybe it wasn't as great as I thought. But then Tempe turned the lamp on and said "Oh Mom, I love to see the keys shining through--it is so beautiful!"
All of a sudden I remembered why I made the lamp. Because I like it. Not because I need to be validated by my blog readers!
So I will never have a crazy famous craft blog. So what? This blog is not my identity.
To my faithful followers who have stuck with me over the last turbulent year with Juno's hips and my identity crisis, thank you. I am sorry that I lost focus. Thanks for sticking with me, anyway.
And I'm sorry this post is so rambling and seems to be contradictory at some points. It was cathartic to get it all out :)