Thursday, December 1, 2011

why I blog

Lately I have been having an identity crisis.

I think it's very common for a stay-at-home mom to feel that way. I love being a wife and mother; I love staying home with my three beautiful daughters. But sometimes I wish I had something else, some other way to define myself.

I started this blog just as a fun way to share stories about my kids and the different crafts, recipes, and activities I do. It used to be pure fun. I used to not care about comments or followers or stats.

But for the past few months, I have been feeling completely inadequate--about my blog. I know how ridiculous that sounds.

I let myself think that my identity was all wrapped up in my blog. That if a post didn't get a lot comments, it wasn't worth doing. I started obsessing over how everyone else has better ideas than I do, or more followers than I do, or more sponsors than I do. I started obsessing over how I could bring in more money with my blog. Everything became a blog post for me--if I didn't think it would make a good blog post, I didn't do it.

I lost sight of why I started to blog--because it is a fun, creative outlet for my life.

I am not saying this to guilt anyone into commenting, but last week I was feeling badly that my DI lamp makeover post didn't get any comments--I really like that project but when no one commented, I started second-guessing it and thinking maybe it wasn't as great as I thought. But then Tempe turned the lamp on and said "Oh Mom, I love to see the keys shining through--it is so beautiful!"

All of a sudden I remembered why I made the lamp. Because I like it. Not because I need to be validated by my blog readers!

So I will never have a crazy famous craft blog. So what? This blog is not my identity.

To my faithful followers who have stuck with me over the last turbulent year with Juno's hips and my identity crisis, thank you. I am sorry that I lost focus. Thanks for sticking with me, anyway.

And I'm sorry this post is so rambling and seems to be contradictory at some points. It was cathartic to get it all out :)


Jen said...

this is probably one of my favorite posts. it's easy to get lost in the world of blogging. i know there have been many times when I've said I'm going to quit because it somehow wasn't "fun" anymore. then i have to re-remember why i started blogging in the first place...not for comments or for followers, but for an outlet for ME. Good post, Kate!

Sarah said...

Holla! Agreed and agreed.

The Colvins said...

Kate, I can totally relate. Being a sahm is hard and everyone (esp moms) need praise and recognition because we often don't get enough!

Lisa said...

I absolutely love your blog! It's a great way to feel connected to you and your sweet family. Keep on blogging!

Maggie said...

I read your blog every time you update! I am a terrible commenter. I should be better because I hate not getting comments too. I will try to improve! Love your blog and all your ideas! I seriously think of your beautiful bookcases at least once a day!

Lisa said...

"This is your father speaking" (I love it when I get to say that, especially in a deep voice with really full vowel sounds.)

Saw your post this morning, about 12 hours after giving your blog address to two younger married women from church. (They LOVED your blog name, but the way.) We were in a group at Kelsey Raymond Gibbons' reception and I overheard them talking about crafts. I'm sure when they visit you they will love not only your wonderful ideas but especially your great, personable writing style.

You (and your little sister) are amazing writers who add much to the lives of those who follow you; of this I'm sure.

Amy said...

I love your blog, I don't comment because I bow down instead!! Your blog is awesome, as are you!!

Kate said...

Thank you all for your sweet comments. The intent of this post was not to fish for compliments, truly, although it's always nice to hear them :)
I, too, am an avid reader of so many of your blogs and a very, very rare commenter. I don't know why I don't comment! But you all rock.