I keep all kinds of things in their special boxes: their blessing dresses, programs from the day they were blessed (with my mom's notes on what was said during the blessing written on the back!), special tiny clothes, ultrasound pictures, Juno's pavlik harnesses, stuff like that. I had a fun time looking through them tonight while the girls were taking a bath.
And oh, it made my heart ache.
I want another baby. I've wanted another baby since Juno was about a year old. It's not happening this time the way it did the first three times. Part of me is afraid that it's not going to happen again at all. That's scary.
If we only have three kids, I will be so grateful and blessed and happy every day to be a mother to three beautiful daughters, but I just wish I would have known that Juno might be my last baby. I think I would have allowed myself to relax and enjoy her more. And at least I would have been emotionally prepared to be "done".
I know that no one's life turns out the way they plan or expect. So how do you accept the life you have instead of constantly wishing for the life you thought you would have? What do you do to deal with your emotions when things turn out differently than you expected?