that (expletive deleted) cat

He's cute, right?

That's what I have to tell myself when he's driving me bonkers.

This cat is driving me bonkers.

He really should be named Picky-Picky because he is the pickiest cat in the world. He can't drink his water if it's been in his bowl more than a few hours; he can't eat his food if it has spilled out of his bowl and been scooped back in (somehow he knows). He can't use his litter box if it hasn't been cleaned that day. If I miss even ONE DAY of cleaning it out, he will poop on the floor right next to it. 

He digs up our garden, he bats bird eggs out of nests (three so far this year), he broke his cat door and now he won't stay in the garage unless we barricade him in.

Proof.
This is how we have to leave our living room before we go to bed. The ottoman with the vacuum on it, the chair, and the couch all pushed against the door. It looks like we're barricading against zombies, but this is the only way to keep him in the garage. I know that sounds so mean, but he does not sleep quietly in the house at night. He meows loudly, runs around the house like a wildcat, and pounces on our feet while we try to sleep. So we have provided him with a lovely box and soft blanket, toys, food and water, everything he needs. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night to the sound of him banging against the barricade, trying to get in. Sometimes he manages to push all that stuff the few inches he needs to get in and he wanders into our room in the middle of the night and scares me to death.
But despite all that, he's cute and fluffy, playful and cuddly, and we love him. Usually.

LOLcats

Tempe holding (or trying to hold) Smoky, Spook, Autumn, and Frankenstein.

Tempe and Spook, Juno with Autumn in her stroller, Sophie with Smoky, and Helena with Frankenstein.

Me and Smoky! He's probably my second favorite after Moose/ Pumpkin.

Figure One. "Hold up, I need a drink."

 Figure Two. "Hey where do you think you're going!"

Figure Three. "Get back in there."

Now if that wouldn't win Operation Kitten Calendar, I don't know what would.

Update on our cat situation!

Well, I'm happy to say that I was wrong in my last post.
Momma kitty and all FIVE of her kittens are still living under our shed!
We have been having a blast playing with them all week.
No pictures yet, because my camera battery is dead and I just can't remember to charge it, but here is a description of our cat family:
Mummy: The mother cat. All black with a white chin. Terrified out of her mind of people, but desperate for food. We've been giving her milk, cat food, and pepperoni to help get her strength up and show her that she's safe. Once the kittens are old enough to be separated from her, we'll be saying goodbye to Mummy and taking her to a shelter (if we can get our hands on her, that is)
Smoky: Solid gray, male. We've only held him a few times because he's still pretty shy.
Frankenstein: Mostly black but with white feet, male. He was the second one we found and comes out to play pretty often. He's the runt.
Spook: Solid black, male. We didn't know he even existed until yesterday. You can always tell a Milton Man.
Autumn: Equal mix of black and white, female. She's probably the one we're going to keep. She comes out to play pretty much every day. She's the bravest, the most active, and the only one that's starting to bat at leaves and toys.
Pumpkin: My absolute favorite. Gray tabby with white feet and chin and she's LONG-HAIRED. None of the others are, including Mummy, but Pumpkin is. She is the most adorable ball of fluff that has ever walked the earth. I would love to keep her, but I don't think a long-haired cat (even an outdoor cat) is a good idea with an allergic husband.
Tempe's only waking thoughts this week have been about the cats. She loves them so much!