the blink of an eye

One year ago today we welcomed our sweet Pearl Diana into our family.

I truly can't believe it's been a whole year. She completes our family just perfectly. Our family just didn't feel all the way "right" until she came along and filled our hearts. We love our little Polly so much!

Pearl is about 16 pounds now. She has four teeth--but instead of getting her front teeth on top, she has her two side teeth, like a little vampire. She isn't saying any words yet, but she can wave, nod, and shake her head and she's working on blowing kisses and clapping, too. She does call Jason "Da" and she is always super happy to see him. She's probably our only child that is a Mama's girl, though. She sometimes will let me put her down and play happily, but most often, if I'm around, she wants me to be interacting with her. I have to catch her in the right mood to try to make dinner or clean!

She's not a super smiley girl--she's very serious and always has a look of intense concentration. She reminds us a lot of Helena as a baby, in looks and personality. She likes to play peekaboo with her sisters and get into their things. She always wants to be on the move. Some of her favorite things are: taking all the recycling out of the bin, playing in the hose in the front yard, taking a bath, digging in the flower pot on the front steps, climbing up the little slide in the backyard, climbing the stairs, and sitting on Mom's feet and crying while Mom is trying to make dinner. She loves touch and feel books. Her favorite foods are buttery noodles, Ritz crackers, lunch meat, any kind of berry, milk, and chocolate. 

She's day-weaned, but we're still working on nights. Much as I would love an uninterrupted night's sleep, I'll admit that we haven't tried very hard to night-wean her yet because I'm not quite ready to give up nursing completely and cuddling with her at night. Someday! As long as she's only waking up twice a night, I'm fine with nursing longer.

And here she is showing off her newest trick!!

She's been able to take steps on her own for quite a while now, but this week she made the switch from crawling to walking. I don't think I've seen her crawl at all in the last two days. She's still unsteady, but look at her go--even in pants that are way too long!

Pearl and her cousin Cutler were born just 9 hours apart. We call them cousin-twins. We had to get some pictures of them together for their first birthday! Isn't he the cutest little boy??

So how do I feel now that my last baby is one?
Relief. Regret. Excitement for the next chapter of our lives. 
I was so worried that I would really want another baby and be so sad to say goodbye to the baby-raising days when Pearl turned one. We know we don't want any more children, but I was worried that my emotions might take over. I am happy to announce that I do not feel that, even one bit! You know you're done when you are just relieved to move on from the baby phase of life.
But there's still a little regret. Pearl was super easy, super chill, and super happy for the first six months of her life, plus I was still so overjoyed to have her after wanting another child for several years that it was really easy for me to enjoy everything, even the crying and sleepless nights. I did a great job letting other, less important things go so I could just enjoy my baby for those first six months. But then she got much more difficult (I don't know why), school started again, and I got busier. I have not spent as much time just sitting and holding her this second half of the year as I should have. And now that the year is over, I wish I had put those things aside more and just held her. 

help.

I've been neglecting my blog so much lately. I don't know why, it's such a great record of our family life and is immensely helpful when I make our family yearbooks! 
So I'm trying to get back into the habit of blogging more, just my daily thoughts and whatevs.
And I'll start with this post.
I need help.
Major, major help.
Juno is three. Until a few months ago, she slept from about 7:30-8:30 and took a 2-3 hour nap every day. Then, all at once, she dropped her nap and started waking up at 6 am every day. So she dropped 4+ hours of sleep pretty much overnight.
Most days she doesn't really need a nap (she can get by without one) and she still naps inconsistently--maybe twice a week. But getting up at 6 is really hard on the whole family. She won't play quietly in her room, so I spend the 6-7 hour getting up every 15 minutes and telling her to be quiet, leave her sisters alone, etc. We've tried putting a door lock on her doorknob so she just can't come out, but she can still open the door with it on.
I'm not totally opposed to getting up at 6 because at this point, my body now thinks that 6 is the time to wake up so I am not super tired, but it just makes the day so long. The only thing I can think of to do with her at that time is to watch tv and since she doesn't nap anymore, I need her to save her tv hours for midday when I need a break. Getting up for the day at 6 makes our days 1000% longer. It somehow adds way more time to fill than just an hour, I don't know why. It's really tough. I'm especially worried about how that would work when school gets out for the summer and I don't have anywhere to send my kids at 8:30. 
So, that's my first problem: how on earth do I readjust my expectations to starting my day at 6 am? What can we do that early in the morning??
My second problem is quiet time/naptime. 
I absolutely have to have 2 hours to myself in the middle of the day. It is necessary for my mental health and the well-being of my children. It will only get more important when I have a newborn in 3 months. Unfortunately, I have a really hard time relaxing when Juno is awake because I worry about what I will find when I come back downstairs. She's not the best about just watching tv and not destroying things. Also, her sister Helena is a bottomless pit who thinks you have to eat while you watch tv and will come in my room and ask me for a snack every 20 minutes of our 2 hour quiet time. I don't want her to eat a snack while she watches because a) it will be a huge mess that I have to clean up and b) she will still expect a snack at 3:00.
How can I make my kids quietly watch tv for 2 hours without constantly coming in and bugging me? Is 2 hours just too long? Do I need to readjust my expectations to 1 hour?
Please, throw advice at me. I am really stressing about how I will handle a newborn when I am getting up so early and not having a good mommy break during the day!

Household organization: Closet doors + kid money management part 1

We have a small house and soon-to-be two kids in school.

Two kids in school create a lot of paperwork and scheduling.

I needed a place to keep track of it all.

And enter... closet doors.

I can keep track of all our household organizational type stuff on the inside of closet doors. They're accessible when I need to see stuff and easy to close when I don't need to see stuff. 

.

The inside of the pantry door is where I have my "household" organization. I made the corkboard, isn't it cute? I pin up schedules, countdown chains, fliers, etc on here, but the main purpose of this corkboard is to keep track of my kids' chores. We do chores a little differently here.

  
I was inspired partly by this blog post and partly made it up myself, so it works for us. My kids don't get a regular allowance; they have to do jobs for their money. This works in two different parts:

First, work for hire. This part of the corkboard has little odd jobs that I want done around the house. I put them up when I need them done and anyone can come grab one, do it, and get paid (the amount each job is worth varies, but is usually 50 cents or so). After they job gets done, I take the job card down and put it away until I need it done again, and then it goes back up on the board.

Second, help wanted. These are "contracted" (for lack of a better word) jobs that my kids can apply for. Yep, apply for. Each job card has a job description, pay rate, and contract length. Every Friday I conduct interviews and anyone who would like to apply for a job may do so. They have to be dressed and presentable to apply and I ask them questions like "Why are you interested in this job?" and "What kind of experience do you have that would help you do this job well?" 

If they are hired, we both sign a contract for the week or month, depending on the job. The contract has the day of the week that they have chosen to do their job so I can quickly see who needs to do what when, and also reminds them that they can be fired at any point for not doing their job well. At the end of the job period, I can renew their contract if they are still interested and did a good job, or I can put it back up under "help wanted" so someone else can apply for it. They can choose to apply for as many or as few jobs as they would like; it's completely up to them how much money they earn. They can also choose not to do any jobs. The jobs pay from $1-$2 per week + bonuses if they do their job without being reminded by me. 
Also, my kids have quite a few jobs that they have to do because they are part of a family and we all work together to keep our home clean: they have to help clean their bathroom once a week, clean the garage once a week, and make their bed/put away dirty clothes every day. The jobs on my corkboard are optional ways for them to earn spending money.
We keep track of the money they earn a little differently, too--post on that coming soon!

Happy Mother's Day!!

Happy Mother's Day! I love all the mothers in my life, especially my own mom who is so strong and has held our family together through everything, all with a smile on her face; and also my wonderful mother-in-law, who is a like a second mom to me. I am so lucky to have them in my life!!

Being a mom is the greatest source of blessings in my life. I love my three daughters more than I ever thought possible and I thank Heavenly Father every day for blessing me with them. They are so funny and sweet and sure keep my life interesting!

We celebrated Mother's Day mostly on Saturday (9 am church doesn't really give Mom much of a break when she has three kids to get ready for church). Jason and the girls "surprised" me with a peach tree!!! We also went to The Sweet Tooth Fairy to get my free Mother's Day cupcake and did a ton of yard work. Today we went to Jason's parent's house to talk to his brother Austin and his sister Morgan, who are currently serving as missionaries in Panama and Chile. It was a lovely day!
Happy Mother's Day to ALL the women out there. I think all women should celebrate Mother's Day because they have been blessed with the potential for motherhood and that is the greatest gift of all. And enjoy this video my sibs and I made for our mom!

dream job

I have always, always wanted to be a stay-at-home-mom. And nothing has made me happier over the past 6 1/2 years than spending all day chasing my three little monsters around the house and cleaning up their messes...really! 
But I admit, there have been lots of times that I felt like tearing my hair out. Days that I was so bored out of my mind and all I wanted was some time to myself and adult conversation. My mom was always there to listen to me complain, but she also always pointed out that someday I would miss those days with three toddlers at home.
I knew she was right, but that time seemed so far off in the future. I didn't think it would ever really come.
Well, friends, that time is on the horizon. Tempe is at school every afternoon and Helena goes two afternoons a week. In just six months, Tempe will be gone all day--all day!--and Helena will go to kindergarten every afternoon and Juno and I will be left alone at home, just the two of us.
I can't help but feel sad about that. I dearly love having a house full of kids, making messes, arguing, incessantly whining at my feet. I love when they "help" me clean, reading to them, playing all their childish games, finding fun new projects to do together, coloring pictures, and making special lunches and snacks for them. I love playing in the backyard, going for walks, riding scooters and pushbikes up and down the sidewalk, doing sidewalk chalk on the driveway, "gardening" together, and reading magazines while they play in the wading pool in the backyard. I love taking them to storytime at the library, the zoo, Temple Square, and all of our favorite parks.
I don't want those days to be over. I'm too young for those days to be over. What will I do with my days in a few years when Juno is in school too?
That is the hardest part about accepting that we might not have any more children. I didn't realize how much I would miss life with little ones until it was almost over. So for those of you who will still be having babies over the next few years, do me a favor and let me borrow your kids every once in a while. I promise they'll have fun with me!

mean girls

How do you bully-proof your kids?

I know that no kid is truly bully-proof--everyone deals with teasing, gossip, and being picked on by peers--but how do you prepare your kid for it?

Today while I was doing laundry and tidying up upstairs, the girls were busy downstairs with their own project. They gathered all the big throw pillows and chair cushions from around the house and piled them in the corner, then brought armloads of books and plopped down to read.

I think... not know, but think... that you prepare them by making  your home a haven from all the hardness and bad feelings in the outside world. A place where they can always feel secure in their own divine nature and just flat-out awesome.

It was my idea to add a fort. 

We used the fort kit that my sister-in-law Erin gave Tempe for her birthday and added the tunnel that Juno got from Santa as the entrance. Inside, our globe light added the perfect ambiance for cuddling and reading.

I think you prepare them for it by helping them build enough self-confidence to feel good about themselves no matter what others are saying about them. Enough self-confidence to step in and stand up for someone else who is being picked on--and to stand up for themselves and only surround themselves with friends that are nice and treat them well.

Normally I make the girls clean up their fort after a few hours or after dinnertime at the latest. Today we needed more time. More time to read books, send secret messages with walkie-talkies, cuddle, and be together. More time that hopefully reinforces self-confidence and a sense of security.

And if all else fails, have a movie night and watch "Mean Girls". 
That's my plan at least... what's yours?

MLK

I love this quote from Martin Luther King Jr. Sometimes it feels like there is no love or beauty left--only anger, suspicion, and hate towards those that are different than us. Does difference in custom, lifestyle, religion, political stance, or race make it ok to hate? I want to teach my children that every time they see hate in the world they must redouble their efforts to bring love and light into it; for each act of anger or contention they must reach out in acceptance.
I'm grateful for Martin Luther King Jr, Rosa Parks, Mahatma Gandhi, Connie Ten Boom and other leaders who were not afraid to stand up for love and light no matter what. I hope I can emulate them and teach my children by example what it means to love others.

why quiet time is for mom

Today is a school holiday and Jason is off work.

Yay, right?

Not always.

Kids (my kids, at least) really strive on structure and routine. So days that we don't do our normal daily routine (school holidays and pretty much every Saturday) are really, really hard. I know it's totally my fault. I always want to sleep in and laze around and not do my normal stuff, either. The result is a definite increase in  freak-outs and decrease in productivity.

Like: my Monday chore is to clean the kitchen, and my January chore is to deep-clean the kitchen. Today I was going to tackle the pantry. I also need to pick up around the house (the tornado that is a weekend always does a number on it) and clean up the playroom. Instead we went to Target, I hung a shelf in the bathroom, and after a quick lunch, I escaped upstairs for quiet time.

I felt a little bit of guilt as I went up the stairs and left behind the messy living room, the dishes in the sink, the big girls to entertain themselves for an hour. But then I reminded myself how I would feel after an hour to myself: refreshed. Patient. Ready to work together to clean up the house and have a nice afternoon. And I didn't feel bad for taking for myself anymore.

bring it on

I'm not a huge New Year's resolution maker. I generally don't sit down at the beginning of the year and make a list of things I want to change or goals I want to meet. There are many things I am working on throughout the year, and those things are always changing and evolving as I improve.
I do, however, have a few things I am planning on focusing this year.
I want to focus more on my kids and enjoying them and less on "projects". 
I feel like over the last few years I have gotten to the point where I only do things if I feel like it will be a good blog post--I don't want to be like that anymore. No more! Along with this, I really want to be better at taking pictures of my kids and actually having them printed and displayed. The pictures in my house are sadly outdated!! 
I want to become a better household manager this year.
That includes a lot of stuff. I feel like I'm pretty good at most of it already, but there's always room for improvement. I want to be better at keeping the house clean (deep cleaned, not just surface clean), managing our budget, and really staying on top of the clutter that comes from three young kids. We have a small house and I don't have the room to be unorganized!
I want to have regular, well-planned, meaningful family home evenings. 
We have FHE every week, but it's almost always Jason or I frantically throwing together a scripture and short spiritual thought after dinner. Last year we made a family goal to read the scriptures every single day (we missed about 15 days). This year I hope to have a meaningful FHE lesson every single week.
I want to be grateful for what I have.
I love my life, I love my house, but everyone feels envious once in a while. Tempe gave me some very astute advice the other day when we were driving past my favorite house (which is currently for sale) and I was wishing we could buy it. She said, "Mom, it is not good to compare. Their house is good for them and our house is good for us."
I want to have more faith in Heavenly Father's plan for me.
Silly human that I am, I have my own idea of what is good or right for my family and I'm always just so sure that my way is the right way. Sometimes it is so hard for me to let go and just trust that Heavenly Father has a plan for me and my family and that His plan is right.
So, 2013. Bring it on. I'm ready for you!

Mommy Wars

Mommy wars.

I think I am the biggest offender of judging in motherhood.

Not other moms--myself.

I spend all day beating myself up about my choices as a mother, convinced that everyone must think I'm a bad mom and making bad choices for my kids.

"Who cares what people think, as long as you know you are doing what's right for your family!"

I'll be honest--I care! I care what people think about me. Don't you all? That's the whole reason the bf vs ff, working mom vs SAHM, cloth vs disposable, vaccination or non debates get so heated.

But I'm tired of caring so much. It's exhausting. Logically, I know that someone will always disagree with whatever choice I am making. Logically, I know that I just have to trust myself and let go of the worries  about what other people think.

That's easier said than done, though. How do I gain more confidence in my own mothering? How do I recognize that not everyone will make the same choices as me, and that doesn't mean my choices are bad or wrong?

Do you judge yourself against other mothers? What things worry you most? How do you deal with it?

hey kid!

Dear Tempe,
Six years ago, I was getting ready to have you. I was excited to hold my baby in my arms after nine long months, but nervous about becoming a mother.
Now my little "baby" has grown up and I'm getting ready to send you off to school. I'm excited to watch you grow and mature, gain knowledge and make friends, but all of this makes me nervous as well. You've always spent almost all of your time with me; you've always looked up to me, taken my word for everything, trusted me. Now I am going to step back and watch my big girl leave me. We'll have less time together and I'll have to trust that you are ready for it. What if your teacher doesn't understand you? What if the other kids tease you? What if you are lonely and miss your mom? Will I still be the biggest influence on your life? Will we still be able to pick up and go do fun things as a family?
I know that letting you go to school is right; I know that you are ready. I also know that after next Tuesday, our lives will never be the same. I will never have all of my little girls home with me all the time again. And I will miss you.
Love, Mom

big girl

I love this picture of Juno.

She's such a big girl. She's almost two, and she can keep up with the big girls now. She loves to run around with her sisters, jumping off the bottom stair (she bends way over, sticks her bum out, and then carefully steps down) and climbing all over the furniture. She has to copy everything Tempe and Helena do. 

But even when she's busy chasing the big girls, she can still take a moment to be my little girl. She can come sit next to me and lay her head on my knee. She can smile up at me with a look that says "Hi, Mom. I'm here now and I'm your little baby, but I won't be for long. Don't wish these years away, because I'm growing up fast."

I'm trying to remember that, Juno.

The list all parents have

As a mom, I keep a list.
A list of the places my kids have thrown up.
Sacrament meeting (twice), church hallway, the car (blerg, that's the worst!!), BYU basketball game...
After our trip to TN, I've got a new one to add, courtesy of Juno: airplane. Oh, and 'on me' makes it to the list as well.
We were just landing in Denver for our layover. Juno is under two, so I didn't have her in her own seat, which means she had been wiggling on my lap in the middle seat for the last hour. All of a sudden, she was very still; she pulled her pacifier out of her mouth.
"Please don't throw up," I said. The words weren't even out of my mouth when she emptied the entire contents of her stomach all over everything. Her pajamas (yes, my kids travel almost exclusively in their pajamas), Tiny Teddy, my jeans, the seat and the floor. I used every single wipe I had packed in my carry-on cleaning her up. The pajamas were a total loss, so I tossed them and the gross wipes in a plastic bag that the gentleman in front of us gave me. By the time most of the passengers had gotten off, Juno was clean (albeit dressed only in a diaper).
My sister Kelsey had my big girls and they both had to go to the bathroom, and I wanted to give Juno a wet-paper-towel bath in the bathroom before our other flight.
Which was boarding.
Before we even got off the plane.
We rushed.
I may have broken down in the bathroom, completely overwhelmed and exhausted.
I may have even wept for 15 minutes on the plane.
Yes. I did.
Now that it's been almost 2 weeks, it's kind of funny...
Kind of.

kidisms and my parenting breakthrough

I haven't posted about my kids on here in a loooooooong time. That's sad, because this blog really started out as and should still be completely about my kids. So here are some updates and funny things about them recently!

Tempe has started getting pretty emotional lately. It's not a very fun stage, and I know it won't end any time soon. I've noticed her outbursts seem much more like mood swings than just typical preschool frustration, so I think she's hit that fun girl stage early. She fluctuates between collapsing into tears over the smallest things and being the happiest, sweetest, most helpful little girl ever! I'm trying to get her to sleep earlier every night, be more consistent in discipline, and give her special attention to let her know I love her--hopefully those things will help. Any other suggestions??

Tempe's valentine card for Jason: Dear Dad, Kate loves you and so do I. Love, Tempe

Helena is really into Spiderman and other superheroes. I don't know where it started, but she's obsessed with them! Her birthday is coming up and she can't wait. We're deep in the throes of planning the party and she talks about it constantly. Poor Helena had a huge accident the other day--she spilled a gallon of navy blue paint on the carpet in my bedroom. She wasn't doing anything naughty at all, so of course I wasn't mad at her. I was mad at myself because I left a gallon of paint where kids could get at it! We spent all week trying to get the stain out, but the carpet is starting to stink from being wet so long, so today I called it. It's still very blue, but luckily it's on the side of the bed so not in a very noticeable spot. Helena felt very bad, but I forgave her :)

Helena: I hate butts!

Tempe: Helena... if you didn't have a butt, you wouldn't be able to go potty when your body needed to. (Don't know where this came from--we say bum at our house, not butt)

Helena's valentine card for me and Jason: Dear Mom and Dad, I hope you have a good day at work Dad, love Helena (Gee, thanks, Helena, I'll have a good day too)

Juno is officially walking! She still crawls quite a bit (because it's so much faster), but she can and does walk across the room. More and more, she's choosing to walk to something she wants instead of crawl to it. At 15 months, she's walking several weeks earlier than Helena did--after her HD-filled first year, it's so neat to see her walking around like a big girl! She loves to clap, play peekaboo, imitate everything (talking on the phone, putting on socks, brushing her hair), and look at books. She's also starting to try coloring with crayons and sidewalk chalk. Juno is at my absolute favorite age--old enough to be learning and gaining independence, but young enough that I don't have to worry about discipline and consequences. We looooooooooove her!

On to the parenting breakthrough. Maybe "breakthrough" is a little much, but it's a method that has been really helping for us, so I thought I would share! Do your kids get out of control crazy? They start giggling and bouncing off the walls--at first it's cute, but it soon escalates into absolute mayhem, teasing, and fighting. Well, I used to just scream "Calm down!!!!" or send them to their room "until you can behave" when this happened. Obviously that never worked. I have a new method. Now when the kids need to calm down or need a break from the rest of the family for another reason (being rude, teasing, being disrespectful) I give them a task to do: "Go to your room and look for Norman the Nephite on three pages and then you can come down". PERFECT SOLUTION! They're distracted, they put their crazy excess energy that they siphoned out of me into their task, and they come back completely happy and better behaved. I'm so glad I figured this out! Some of the other tasks I give are to do a puzzle (or several for Tempe), look at a picture book and come back and report what it was about, or color a picture (I usually give a specific assignment of something to color, otherwise they just do a couple quick scribbles). Works like a charm!

What parenting tips do you have? I would love to hear them!!

a parenting triumph

Introducing...

Ruby Violet Blueberry Tempe Blue.

Can you guess who named our new Betta fish?

Tempe has been working so hard to earn this fish--her very first pet!--and she finally got him on Monday!

Back in March, the primary president in our ward talked to me about Tempe's behavior in primary. She was goofing off, getting out of her chair and running around, and collapsing in tears every week. I was mortified. Nobody wants their kid to be "that kid". We immediately started talking to her about it at home and trying to find a way to help her change her behavior.

We started a simple reward system at home.

We switched her sacrament meeting snack from honey nut cheerios to cashews and string cheese.

We promised her she could get a fish after 2 months of consistent good behavior in primary, and Jason drew a fish on her hand every week to remind her.

But what really made the difference for her was walking to church.

I really think it was inspiration. We had been praying to know how we could help her, and one day when I wasn't even thinking about it, the idea of walking her to church popped into my head out of nowhere.

Walking to church gets some of her energy out, gives her some time alone with Mom or Dad, and stimulates her just enough that she is ready to learn when she gets to primary.

I don't want to jinx myself, so I'll stop talking now, but it's amazing what a difference walking has made!