the blink of an eye

One year ago today we welcomed our sweet Pearl Diana into our family.

I truly can't believe it's been a whole year. She completes our family just perfectly. Our family just didn't feel all the way "right" until she came along and filled our hearts. We love our little Polly so much!

Pearl is about 16 pounds now. She has four teeth--but instead of getting her front teeth on top, she has her two side teeth, like a little vampire. She isn't saying any words yet, but she can wave, nod, and shake her head and she's working on blowing kisses and clapping, too. She does call Jason "Da" and she is always super happy to see him. She's probably our only child that is a Mama's girl, though. She sometimes will let me put her down and play happily, but most often, if I'm around, she wants me to be interacting with her. I have to catch her in the right mood to try to make dinner or clean!

She's not a super smiley girl--she's very serious and always has a look of intense concentration. She reminds us a lot of Helena as a baby, in looks and personality. She likes to play peekaboo with her sisters and get into their things. She always wants to be on the move. Some of her favorite things are: taking all the recycling out of the bin, playing in the hose in the front yard, taking a bath, digging in the flower pot on the front steps, climbing up the little slide in the backyard, climbing the stairs, and sitting on Mom's feet and crying while Mom is trying to make dinner. She loves touch and feel books. Her favorite foods are buttery noodles, Ritz crackers, lunch meat, any kind of berry, milk, and chocolate. 

She's day-weaned, but we're still working on nights. Much as I would love an uninterrupted night's sleep, I'll admit that we haven't tried very hard to night-wean her yet because I'm not quite ready to give up nursing completely and cuddling with her at night. Someday! As long as she's only waking up twice a night, I'm fine with nursing longer.

And here she is showing off her newest trick!!

She's been able to take steps on her own for quite a while now, but this week she made the switch from crawling to walking. I don't think I've seen her crawl at all in the last two days. She's still unsteady, but look at her go--even in pants that are way too long!

Pearl and her cousin Cutler were born just 9 hours apart. We call them cousin-twins. We had to get some pictures of them together for their first birthday! Isn't he the cutest little boy??

So how do I feel now that my last baby is one?
Relief. Regret. Excitement for the next chapter of our lives. 
I was so worried that I would really want another baby and be so sad to say goodbye to the baby-raising days when Pearl turned one. We know we don't want any more children, but I was worried that my emotions might take over. I am happy to announce that I do not feel that, even one bit! You know you're done when you are just relieved to move on from the baby phase of life.
But there's still a little regret. Pearl was super easy, super chill, and super happy for the first six months of her life, plus I was still so overjoyed to have her after wanting another child for several years that it was really easy for me to enjoy everything, even the crying and sleepless nights. I did a great job letting other, less important things go so I could just enjoy my baby for those first six months. But then she got much more difficult (I don't know why), school started again, and I got busier. I have not spent as much time just sitting and holding her this second half of the year as I should have. And now that the year is over, I wish I had put those things aside more and just held her. 

::: 10 years :::

Jason and I celebrated our 10th anniversary on March 26!

10 years! I can't believe it. We've been married for 1/3 of my life. I'm so grateful that we found each other back at Liberty Square in 2004. Now we've got four beautiful daughters and such a happy life together!

To celebrate, we went on an overnight getaway. We've gone on two getaways in the past: once to the Anniversary Inn, where we were kept awake half the night by... er.... other guests and left at 3 in the morning; and once to a hotel in Provo, which was better, but we had to take Juno, who was currently in her body cast and woke up every hour or so all night, so still not great.

We were really, really looking forward to this getaway! How did it go? 

Well, maybe getaways just aren't our thing.

We started out at a restaurant in Ogden, Hearth on 25th. It had a fun atmosphere/vibe and they sell 20+ flavored balsamic vinegars and olive oils on tap. We tried a couple; the blackberry ginger was my favorite!

We ordered this super fancy cheese and cured meats plate to start with and it was so good. It came with three cheeses and four cured meats (one was wild boar) and also had apple butter, balsamic vinegar, local honey, and cashew butter. 

The rest of our food was ok, but not great and definitely not worth the hefty price tag. 

Then we headed to our hotel, the Alaskan Inn in Ogden Canyon. LOVED it. It was such a fun, rustic themed hotel. Plus, they serve breakfast to your room in the morning (you choose the time!) and the food was really good. I wasn't expecting much, but Jason had biscuits and gravy and I had french toast and they were both delicious. 

We stayed in the Bears Den room--don't you love the "cave" bathtub!

So why did I say getaways aren't our thing? I didn't bring any melatonin and I was struck by a major case of insomnia. I was so looking forward to a good night's sleep (Pearl still gets me up 3+ times a night) and I ended up not falling asleep until about 4--I got less sleep that night than I do at home :( We also didn't really plan anything to do in the morning and so we ended up just lounging in bed for a while and then going home. I didn't realize how pretty Ogden Canyon is--next time we go (and I'm determined we'll have a do over later this year!), we'll find some good hiking for the morning!

I miss my blog!!!!!!

I have really dropped off the blogosphere after getting a smartphone a few months ago. I'm loving Instagram (follow me @younghipstercoolgirl) but I miss sharing my thoughts and keeping a record of my life on my blog. Part of the problem is that I'm still not sure the best way to get pictures from my phone to my blog, and I've stopped using an actual camera now that my phone takes such good quality pictures (btw, it's a Windows phone, so a lot of the Android/iphone apps won't work. I've tried just plugging it in to the computer, but it's still not working right. Anyone have a Windows phone out there??? This is my ONLY complaint, otherwise I LOVE my new phone!)
So the thing that has been on my mind a lot lately is envy. I have found myself slipping into the pit of envy. No details necessary, just the fact that I've found myself wondering "Why them! Why not me!" way too much lately. I'm trying so hard to change my attitude from envy to gratitude. I am a firm believer in feeling rich vs feeling poor, and I usually do a great job, but everyone slips once in a while. Right now I am struggling with a "poor" attitude. I know that people can feel "poor" no matter what their income is, just like people can feel "rich" at any income--it's all about attitude! My kids recently asked me if we know anyone who is rich, and I told them that anyone who lives in America is rich (for real, by the standards of much of the world, we are rich beyond imagining!) 

Whenever I start feeling envious, I go outside and stand on the sidewalk and look at my pretty little home. It's far from fancy, far from large, but it is so happy and filled to bursting with healthy, bouncy, beautiful kids. It was a dream come true when we bought this house, and even if we could afford something larger, I don't know if I would have the heart to leave it yet!